To many heterosexual men the ultimate showing of doing a “good job” sexually is making your partner squirt. What other obvious actions can a woman do to prove she has really cum. Maybe this fascination with squirting comes after many decades of jokes about women faking it due to their partners bad love making skills and how men cant really tell if a woman has come. Or maybe it is because in todays porn filled society we have become more visual than ever. We are now allotted the luxury of seeing women give the money shot as well as men.
But what is squirting and do men really like it or just enjoy watching it?
The origin of the actual mechanics behind squirting have been debated and no sex expert or group of scientist can agree on the true nature of squirting or what is really happening in the moment.
The two main schools of thought are either a woman is urinating or she is having an orgasm like never before. The urinating hypothesis comes form a study done in France where a group of women all went to the restroom and relieved themselves. They were then given an ultrasound to show their bladders were empty. Next they were sexually stimulated just to the point of orgasm and given a second ultrasound, that revealed their bladders had filled up again. They then returned to the stimulation to completion resulting in a orgasm. After the orgasm another ultrasound was given and showed the bladders had again emptied.
Another study took samples of several women’s squirting fluid and tested the contents of each one and found it to have prostate fluid which comes form the Skene organ in women. This organ is located near the urethra and fills with blood when stimulated, however this is not the same as the G-spot. The substance for this fluid was more like the constancy of semen in men, as opposed to the watery other urine-like liquid.
The science and testing behind what makes women squirt and what actually is squirting, is interesting but what most people want to know is, does quirting equate to orgasm. The answer is No. Some women report squirting and feeling a release and nothing more, some women squirt loads of fluid and feel very little sensation. A few lucky ladies have reported they have each shattering orgasms when they squirt. The truth is every woman CAN squirt, meaning they have the right body parts and ability. But the truth is less than 5% of women worldwide actually due squirt. If that statistic is accurate that means every woman who does squirt must be doing porn or web-caming.
I talked to a friend of mine who is a web cam model, *Sara and asked her take on the subject. In no uncertain terms she informed me “Yes, we fake it!”. But how? Well, there are two methods, one is to hold the camera or dildo in such a way the guy can’t get a good view and she pees a little with the dildo pressed against her urethra and the pressure makes it shoot out. That is why so many of cam-girls have thick comforters or towels they sit on. She informed me that many cam-models are drinking lots and lots of water. “Sure the guys think we are drinking vodka or wine, but usually it is water or some kind of apple juice mix with water to make us pee more often.”
So what is the other way? “Well it’s a little harder to plan, but good if you’re doing a gold show for a lot of customers. You have to have good pelvic muscles. You take a syringe and fill it with water or maybe add a little “fake cum” in it and shoot it in your vagina prior to the show. When the time is right, release it! Guys love it and can’t tell the difference. I know one girl who makes hundreds per show by doing this.”
I asked Sara if I could talk to some of her clients about why they like it and does it matter. She agreed as long as I kept her secret from them. So I was given a few gentlemen’s emails and three responded to my questionnaire. Their ages were 23, 37 and 40. It appears, that they all believe that if she squirts she isn’t faking it and that makes each of them feel special. I asked “What if she didn’t squirt, would you still visit her?”. Paul the 40 year old said, “Absolutely!”. Jim the 37 year old said, “Not initially . No I would not have, but now I’ve been seeing her for over a year, so I dunno…I’m glad I see her and I guess I’d be okay.”. Oscar the 23 year old said, “Nope. That’s my thing. I got to see it to believe it.”
When asked in their personal life have they been with women who squirt? The two older men said no and that was a big part of the reason they went online and Oscar said, “Hell yes, every woman I’ve been with squirts. I don’t stop until she does.”
After these email exchanges I figured maybe an age gap can attribute to this as well. It does appear upon further questioning Paul, a newly divorced midwest single dad, had never really cared much about it, but likes that fact Sara does it. In real life he doesn’t think he could “make a woman” squirt so he never really tried. His wife was not very sexual which is part of his reason for divorcing. “I wanted to try new things, but she never seemed interested…So now there is this new world of porn and web girls I never knew before.”
Oscar has never known life without the intent and porn. Does this make him a better lover and giving him the ability to make girls squirt or is there more pressure on women and they are now “squirting” or peeing not knowing the difference? Oscar swears there is a difference and of course he can tell. “I watch like a lot of porn, so I know. Ive been with a bunch of girls, you can tell. You know.”
Jim, a married man, told me he doesn’t really care in real life. “Before my wife I had a few girls and it wasn’t a thing back then. Now I like it. I search for it online. My wife doesn’t squirt, and we’ve never really talked about it. We have a good sex life, I just think squirting is , I guess, sexy and sort of dirty. I like to watch it and would love it if my wife did it, but ….we’re good.”
From a woman’s perspective, I personally know it can be hard to tell the difference, especially when you are younger or inexperienced. I had my first vibrator as a teenager and use to think I was orgasming/squirting so hard, all the time. It turns out I was just urinating in my bed. But it felt like a release and I didn’t know the difference at the time. Later, in my twenties I dated a much older musician who taught me a lot about sex and gave me my first orgasm. what a huge eye-opener. Now, that I am older, I have experimented quite a bit and have actually squirted on a few occasions. I can tell you, “squirting” did not make my orgasm any better than a regular clitoral orgasm.
Over the years I have talked to many girlfriends and clients about orgasms and I have never heard any woman tell me they had better orgasms via squirting. If anything most feel pressured to try and squirt to make their partner feel good about himself, which takes away from their pleasure.
So when it “cums” right down to it, most often, squirting is more for his pleasure than hers. The best advice I can give is to enjoy who you are with and drop any expectations. Just explore each others bodies and be in the moment. And never ever compare your partner to a porn actress or a webcam model, even if they ARE one. This will make sex more enjoyable to everyone involved.
I would love to hear your stories about being with someone who is a “squirter” or if you yourself have squirted. Please email me at laura@PrimitiveBalance.com
*Names have been changedT
