COVID has brought on numerous problems for so many of us. There is financial, health, an uncertainty of tomorrow and a new way of everyday living. With this new way of everyday living comes a new way of dating. Some people have lost there significant other and are newly widowed, some have been single and are not sure what to do with their loneliness and still others have just decided it isn’t worth it and they have sheltered-in-place to avoid any and all drama that accompanies dating.
As a Sex Coach and Life Coach, I have encountered and helped with each of these kinds of personalities. Let us begin with the newly widowed. This is one of life’s hardest struggles that any human will have to go through, but with COVID it is infinitely worse. Many of the newly widowed are older and usually not very savvy when it comes to the internet. They are use to going out meeting someone the old fashion way, face to face. For these clients, I highly suggest seeking a match maker or finding someone who can help them navigate the web. Another option, is try to go to public places that are respectfully keeping COVID laws (think casinos, church gatherings, or events in a park) and just sit and people watch for a while. Ease yourself back into the dating scene after you feel you have sufficiently grieved and are ready to date. Also be cognitive that the new person in your life is not there to replace the love you have lost. And know that being upfront about your loss is perfectly acceptable.
For those that have been single for a while and still up for dating or finding a new friend with benefits, the new question these days is “Have you been vaccinated?”. (This seems to have replaced the standard STI/STD question). Do not be afraid to ask this especially if you are wanting to get sexual and close with someone. I’ve had a client even put her vaccine stats on her dating profile. Acknowledging we are navigating a new way of dating is the first step, taking action is the second. So, again, meeting in outdoor places like parks or bars with patios are acceptable. I would stay clear of anyone who tries to force there belief of where to meet, if you do not feel safe in any way.
Lastly, for those who are a bit more of a shut in or introvert, I would believe venturing out into the online dating and approaching it from the view of “What can the other person teach me?”, is a healthy place to start. You might find that looking at what you can learn is a fun way to approach dating and be pleasantly surprise. Many introverts can be a little shy around new folks so try your best to have zero expectations. I would also suggest not waiting any longer than one week to meet up with someone you are texting or DM-ing. After a week, we start to build fantasies in our head and the build up of ‘what if’s’ is too strong.
So remember to always listen to your inner voice and trust yourself in this world of confusion. And realizing that the other person is just as confused in this new world as you are will help all parties.
