Erectile dysfunction (impotence) – There is no man alive who has not had that dreadful moment when you cannot connect to your penis. It just stops working. Often this last just a short time, other times it can last years.
The first step is to check with your proctologist, urologist and cardiologist (Erectile Dysfunction (ED) can be one of the first signs of heart trouble). Assuming they all give you a thumbs up that everything is in working condition, many men then go directly to the drugs. This can be useful for some, but there are many side effects and not everyone should be taking the little blue pill long term. There are also the creams, the shots, the voodoo doctor, trust me, I’ve heard it all.
The truth is, most of the time the real problem is all in your head. Once your penis doesn’t work, even just once, this fear stays with you on a deep level. You might not even consciously be aware of it, but trust me, it is lingering.
Usually my first question to my clients is, “Have you awaken to ‘morning wood’ in the last 6 to 8 months?” If yes, then we know everything seems pretty functional. This is followed by a sigh a relief from the client. Just knowing that there is hope can do wonders.
So now what? The next few steps differ for each client, depending on what we discover through our sessions. However, one of the most underlining threads is anger. Anger at their body for not working right, not acting upon command. If the man is older he can have the added fear of age creeping into his thoughts. I will say I have had clients as young as 21 and as old as 87, all with similar issues holding them back. So, please do not assume just because you are older that is the cause. Yes, as we age we don’t have the same ability to preform sexually as we did when we were younger, but we have so much more knowledge and experience that is immeasurable. But age is not always the factor for Erectile Dysfunction.
Getting past this anger you are feeling with your body and mind is crucial. Learning to love your body, with all it’s faults, is pivotal when working with ED. When you think about some of the ‘cures’ surrounding Erectile Dysfunction it can be painful, external and even counter productive. All of these are directed at your penis.
The first step is to get reacquainted with yourself and your pleasure. This can mean what fantasies or porn get you off to changing your masturbation technique.
Another great simple step is to be mindful in regard to connecting with your body. This may seem simplistic, but to truly check in and see what feels good, when do you feel the blood flowing, where do you start to feel turned on in your body (hint: this is not always where you think), etc. There is an energy you hold for different parts or places in your body. This can flow or grow stagnant. Being aware is a great step to help with your ED.
Try having a new relationship with your penis. I have had clients start to talk to their penis and say loving or encouraging things out loud to their penis. My thought is, why not, it can’t hurt to be sending some extra love to yourself.
Please remember if you wake up one day and something isn’t working right ‘down there,’ don’t panic! Check in with yourself and be honest. Send your body some love and know it is not the end of the world. There is help and it might be a very simple fix. Let me know which of these suggestions worked for you.
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